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In this episode I talk about one of the common problems that people have when looking to get more confidence and that is the worry about what other people think.
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Hi Mark Rhodes here again and welcome back to Confidence TV.
In this episode I want to talk about one of the common problems that people have when looking to get more confidence and talk to people they don’t know and that is the worry about what other people think.
“What will other people think of me if I go up to them and look to start a conversation?”
or even if they’re not having a conversation with somebody
“What will other people think if I do this, if I take this action, or if this happens.
Now I know that this can be quite a big concern for a lot of people but what we have to realize is, that other people have got so much going on in their lives, that most of the time they’re not even paying attention to what you’re doing and let’s say somebody was being judgmental and thinking something about what you’re doing why does that matter anyway?
What right have they got to judge you as long as you’re not doing anything that is seriously interfering with somebody else’s enjoyment of their life or disrupting their experience you should be good to go out there and do what you want, because after all this is your life anyway and you need to live your life on your terms, and I talking about this when we worry about other people will think and it stops us from doing everyday activities or everyday things.
We need to remember what other people think doesn’t need to affect how we are.
We can’t control how they think, it doesn’t matter!
If you look at brands, you look at celebrities, you look at anything in life loads of people people like them and loads of people don’t like them, but just because some people don’t like them doesn’t stop them being very successful and just because in your life some people may not like what you do, may not agree with what you do, that doesn’t mean you’re right they’re wrong or vice versa – it’s just different a lot of the time.
Different people do different things and just because some people may not agree with you or may not like you, doesn’t mean that you’re not doing good because we don’t need everyone to like us, as I said the successful brands, successful celebrities in life, they get to the top but there are still loads of people who don’t like them, loads of people who don’t agree with what they’re doing.
So we need to first and foremost get over this worry about what other people think.
You know as I’ve said most of the time other people have got so much going on in their life that they don’t even register what you’re doing and people often are afraid of making a mistake of looking stupid in public and things like that and you know everybody makes mistakes all the time, we just need to get up and move on and carry on with it.
So, what I want you to do over the coming days is start to realize that you’re living your life and you need to stop being constrained by the worry of what other people might think.
You know this is a topic I covered in “How to talk to absolutely anyone”, my book on the subject and I’ll be covering it even further in some of the upcoming episodes, but it’s one of the biggest barriers that we need to get over if we’re going to build confidence and move forward.
I know a lot of this comes perhaps from growing up, when we were younger we are, you know observed and often our parents will say to us things when we are young and we may be playing, when we’re out in public or doing something, and they’ll be saying
“What are these other people going think? Stop that, what are those people going to think?
Or they go
“Those people over there they’re looking, that man’s going to come over in a minute, he’s going to tell you off!”
It’s those sort of things that register in our minds when we children and start to cause us to worry what other people think and teachers marking things wrong and being critical and pointing out things and telling us off.
We are adults now!
Now we are adults, unless we are breaking the law, people can’t tell us off and we’re not doing things that are wrong, we just think there wrong because we are running those old patterns from when we were young children.
We need to get out of that, we need to realize that.
So I look forward to helping you in further episodes.